Burn The Witch
by Lassitude
Summary: The world of One Piece was in a derangement. Whether or not she could fix it, only fate held the forbidden answer. Shanks steps in and offers her a gift of advice, much to her dismay.


_A/N: This is the kind of shit that one could come up with if they're bored enough. Leave constructive criticism if you feel anything needs to be improved, or if you think you have found an error in the story. "HAH! YOUR WRITING BLOWS BEEF BALLS!1!" does not count as constructive criticism, hence they will be classified as 'Diaper Faeces". Phrase it in a better way, and maybe I would try to give a damn. Hopefully the standard of this very simple short story is comprehensible to fanbrats. Enjoy._

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She flipped open a fairly worn note book, brushing the tip of a quill pen which was in no means usable, due to its archaic age. Sue chucked it away in a corner and slammed the writing article closed. The girl let herself shrink in her black frill dress. Her temple was throbbing again. She could just hear the seagulls' cries mocking her every being. She only wished to jot down her feelings.

The situation was vastly different a month ago. The Strawhat Pirates found her in a rut – abused by her father, left behind by her twin sister, Boa Hancock. Sue knew how to stand her ground, so much so she could tame Whitebeard's arrogance. The Strawhat boy took her in, treated her like family and eventually, a lover. In time she came to hold the crew close to her heart and not even her sister would escape alive after speaking so much as a word degrading any one of her friends.

A famous pirate came to look for her in the New World. With a trademark red hair and a stump where one of his arms should have been, that man told her that he was her biological father.

"Impossible!" she protested. "Someone like me...I'm not so special as to be the most beautiful and powerful woman, lover of the Pirate King. My father being the Red-Haired Shanks and having enough power to defeat Whitebeard and his crew of over a thousand men...it's impossible! I'm just a slave who was tortured by the World Nobles, spent her life in isolation and is a twin sister of a Shichibukai!"

"No. You are special," the pirate said. "You have grown up to be a huge-busted, blue-haired, blue-eyed Pirate Empress. You are special, Mary Sue."

Sue buried her head in her hands. Ever since the world found out her true birth name, her loved ones had gradually slipped away from her reach. They would stare at her in a queer manner, wondering if she was a fabrication of a fantasist. Her lover would not even stand next to her.

"I'm scared of the Sue Flu," he would say. She tried giving him a romantic kiss, but before she even stepped near, Luffy had fled. "No! Never! Get away from me!" he yelled in fear of her, sprinting away.

The cook of the ship had disappeared. Chopper had informed her that he 'had lost his mind'. She wondered why. She also wondered why the doctor donned a mask, a protective suit meant to be used as a measure against toxic substances and gloves whenever he was around her.

Nami would throw her gold ornaments at Sue. She mentioned that it was 'good practice against monsters'. It seemed like the only other person who remained on the ship was Brook. Even then, his teeth chattered whenever she came around him and he would have a myriad of excuses to escape to the restroom.

The others? Sue wept as she thought of them. Zoro committed suicide with Mr Whiskers – the swordsman, not the cat. Usopp, she heard, jumped off a cliff the day after she met her biological father. Robin had run away from the ship on a starry midsummer night and pleaded the World Government to execute her. According to the rumours, Franky ended his life by lying down on the sea train's track, face down until one ran over him.

She could not understand them. Why had they resorted to such actions? Why? Sue cursed the world. Whitebeard had choked on rum when he heard of her full name and passed away instantly. His loyal and steadfast crew members paid their respects by choking on rum as well. Her sister jumped into a tank containing hydrochloric acid, as did the other Kuja warriors. Kuma, her long-lost uncle, pressed the self-destruct button at the same time Whitebeard died. She heard that the Red Force rammed herself against an iceberg. The hull tore apart and the ship split in the middle and slowly sunk to its watery grave. Sue did not know if her best friend Rose survived the tragic event.

In the dreary ambience of the bar, Sue picked up the creaking of the bar doors open. She sensed the familiar Reiatsu. No, the Chakra. The Haki, she corrected herself. Her eyes wandered off to the man who stepped inside the dreadful place.

"F-Father..." she stammered, jolted from her personal recount. Sue straightened her position and lovingly gazed at him. "I missed you."

"I need to talk to you, Mary Sue Serene Voltaire E Mudafakin Chiffon Pi Le Roux," he said. The former pirate captain's voice sounded strangely distressed to her. His eyes were dull – they were just two dots but her special vision allowed her to zoom in approximately five hundred times. Like Photoshop.

"What is the matter, dear father?" she asked. She could feel her breathlessness in this situation, her palms were clammy and cold trickles of sweat found their way down her face. His glare pierced her soul, but she stood her ground. Nothing could possibly move her.

"It's all your fault," he collapsed into a chair nearby. "If you weren't a Mary Sue, then all this wouldn't be happening. You believed that you'd fix all the problems, mate?"

Sue felt the fine hair on the back of her neck stand. Did he finally snap? She hesitantly delivered her question, "What do you mean?"

"C'mon, mate. You perfect, know-it-all brat, mate. Things were fine when everyone had their flaws, mate. Then you came in from some batshit crazy mumbo jumbo place and suddenly," he paused, swiping a bottle of rum off the table and quaffing its contents. "Suddenly, we didn't need navigators. No marines, no pirates, no cooks, no brothels. Whoops. Ignore that last part. You didn't hear that."

She was frozen like a stone in her place, speechless. He repeated himself, with emphasis on each syllable, "You didn't hear that."

Nodding her head, she replied, "I didn't hear that."

"Good," he mumbled, downing the last gulp in the bottle and reaching for another one. "So, like I was saying. Alright, you wanna be here, you can. Just don't make everyone else feel so useless, okay, mate? Rose, my personal bi..bipolar maid, had no regrets drowning. She said you have more of a traumatic experience compared to hers. She was a sad girl. She was just sad. Poor sad cow."

Sue held the tears back from welling up. "But...why do you hate me so? Am I the reason for everything horrible that's been going on?" she asked. So pitiful was her state that Shanks had the sudden urge to punch a small animal.

"Yeah, mate. You're the reason. Like, Luffy my boy. He broke down 'cause he thought you came out from a graveyard. 'Cause, like, you know everything about the world. He thinks that you're an ancient mummy, and that everything was a lie," the red-haired pirate said. He gulped down the contents of the bottle of beverage he held and savoured its taste. Sue noticed his face had turned a soft hue of crimson. He let out a burp. She twitched an eyebrow and held her breath. He really had snapped.

"When you joined this world, we were all doomed. And speshully the Strawhats. Like, you're...in short you just killing off everyfing else, mate. You think you tryin' ta be a superhero, but it ain't right. Buh...I can't blame ya. Cause you were forced in it by an evil person," Shanks slurred, grabbing another bottle of rum from a shelf to his left.

She gasped. "I was forced? Doesn't that mean I'm innocent?"

"No, bitch, I haven't finished. Lemme finish. Lemme finish or I kill you. No, wait. You kill me, that's how it goes. You're not innocent," he said. "The world's fucked 'cause of Suethors. They all trynna kill us off with their abominations."

Sue could sense her creator's desire for her to kill her 'father'. She oppressed it, strengthening her will to not lose the fight. "How do I stop this?" she asked.

Shanks cocked an eyebrow. "You gotta seek out the Flamers and ConCritics. They got _pow-er_. But it's a tough battle of _pow-er_ against ego. They're greatly outnumbered by the Suethors, a thousand to one. Or even more. But the best thing to do is to delete yourself."

"How?" she asked.

He was deep in thought for a few seconds. Then his face lit up and he smiled, "Press 'Edit'."


End file.
